So, this is Christmas.
So this is Christmas…..
No, I promise I won’t sing, I wouldn’t do that to you.
In fact, more point is that, a lot of you out there, may not be singing either.
So, lets take just a moment to be completely honest with each other. Christmas for many does not represent any moments of joy, unity, connection, rest and reset. It does, profoundly, represent an extraordinary amount of social pressure to fake it though, doesn’t it?
In recent years with the impact of COVID, bushfires, economic downtime, the workplace paradigm shift, structural issues and financial impacts our ability to put the mask on for a week or two is more strained than ever. The idea of playing the role of joyful Christmas person an even more exhausting prospect. Let me just take this moment to sit in place with you all, and honour that.
For my family, this Christmas morning will mark the 20th anniversary of my father’s death. Whilst that is nowhere near as debilitatingly painful as it once was, and the addition of my little nephew and niece have put a little fun and silliness back into the meaning of the day, my family can certainly embrace that Christmas can be quite the double-edged sword of meaning and sentiment — and that there is no need to enforce joy into a day, or proscribe a lack of merry making.
This year, as every year, myself and the staff of Reflex invite you to focus on meaning; rather than spending, present giving or obligations.
What does it mean to you, to have a moment of reflection?
To stop and assess your year?
What does it mean for your community?
For the one with no home and hasn’t seen family for a long time, what is the meaning they are working through?
For the couples with no children despite trying?
For the mother’s whose babies were born sleeping?
For the families touched by grief and loss?
When we gather, can we make space to reflect and support as well as celebrate?
Can we honour and mourn as well as thank?
Can we accept each other’s’ emotions and needs just as they are?
Because we are no less worthy of connection if we find ourselves unable to feel Joy…. Or force it for that matter.
So, to the depressed and anxious, I see you. Don’t leave your room if you can’t. Don’t leave your house if you can’t. But please order yourself something nice if you can — I recommend fruit mince pies and brandy custard!
To the grieving — Don’t pretend your ok. Don’t force yourself to ‘go on because they would want you to’ — but if you can, hold someone, let yourself be held, and start a little tradition of memorial and adoration. “What is grief but love enduring” might be the best movie line ever.
For those without any family, who are still punishing themselves for past sins or hurting over unfair exclusion — don’t force happy, don’t pretend. But if you can, try not to hide away. Go for walk, say hello to people randomly.
And for all of us that don’t feel a joy or meaning in this anymore — I see you. Don’t pretend it or fake it. Don’t lash out or ridicule anyone else for their joy; yet do not force yourself to make it more of a day than it is for you. If this Christmas day is, in your calendar, Saturday, well that’s just fine! Have the best Saturday you can.
We may have to survive family; we may have to survive solitude. We may have incurred debt; we may wish with all our hearts we had someone to spend money on at all. But with a complete self-awareness, and a willingness to be deeply kind to ourselves — there are ways to make surviving thriving.
If this is something you need any assistance with at all, our site will allow you to make a booking anytime. We want you to know that no matter what this Saturday means for you, you need not prepare alone.
And no matter what the day brings, please accept from me, in the words of all the greatest traditions I know: Peace and safety be upon you.
With sincere care,
Damien, Alicia and the team of Reflex.
